Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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