Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
