im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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