In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
