I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
