Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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