so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
