You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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