The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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