I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
