In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
