Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
