i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
