I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
