so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
