i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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