Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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