Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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