first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
