It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
