My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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