I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
