so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
