Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
