Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
