someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
