so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
