Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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