I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just found a bag of teeth...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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