Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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