can we get nightvision for the apartment?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
