She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
