It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
