I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You need Xanax blowdarts
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
