He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
