I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
