yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
