Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
