You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
