He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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