i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
