Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
