Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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