He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
