thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
