Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
