Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
