My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
