whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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