But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
