then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
