The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
