i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
